I would be horrible at five-minute shopping sprees–the ones where people race around stores blindly and desperately stripping products from shelves. I’d probably stand there comparing goods and looking up reviews online before cautiously plucking, say, a vegetable peeler from its hook and placing it gingerly in my cart. Ding! Shopping spree over.
I like cooking and I like good deals, which is why the wedding registry thing is stressing me out. I realize that the registry is basically a shopping spree in slow motion, but that doesn’t make it any easier. I now feel compelled to research dozens of products to make sure people are getting the best quality kitchenware for the best value. Even though these will be gifts from my family and friends, I can’t break the habit of shopping as if I’m spending my own money. And really, I don’t want someone to buy me (i mean, us) a pizza stone that costs $120 when I could just get some kiln tiles from Home Depot for ten times less.
After spending about two hours hemming and hawing about which Kitchen Aid stand mixer to choose, I decided to tackle something easier: ladles. Brainless, right? But instead of just committing what looked like the best choice (great ratings and a reasonable $9.99) I had to read the reviews:
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
The Best Ladle in the Universe, May 11, 2010
| By | (Seattle, WA) – See all my reviews |
This review is from: Oxo Good Grips Brushed Stainless Steel Ladle (Kitchen)
If I had to rate this ladle (which I just did) and only had 5 stars with which to do it (also just happened) I would be very disappointed that one thousand stars weren’t available, for this ladle is by far the greatest invention of all time. Traditionally, I have assumed ladles were used only for pulling large amounts of liquid from pots, but then I discovered the massive amount of heroin that can be “cooked” in a ladle, and let me tell you, it changed my life. That eureka moment for me happened when I got a bunsen burner cheap at a yard sale and rigged it to the gas line at the motel where I live. The bunsen burner (which rocks, by the way) melted every spork I lifted from discarded pancake containers I fished out of the MacDonald’s dumpster, and it totally torched the three stainless steel spoons that I save for when the pure “Afghani Snowfall” comes around. But let me tell you something: this Oxo Good Grip Stainless Steel Ladle, which my sister threw at me when she kicked out of her shed, proved to be the only recepticle to both withstand the immense heat of the bunsen burner AND have a handle long enough not to singe my fingers. With this ladle, I could cook half a kilo, if I were so inclined. Thanks Oxo! Keep up the good work.
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Thought process: 1) Hilarious. 2) Haven’t blogged in a while; must put on blog. 3) Apparently there is an activity even more pathetic than scrupulously researching ladles, that is, writing fake reviews on Amazon about said ladles. Yay! 4) But even worse than that is blogging about fake reviews written on Amazon about said ladles. Darn.
Jeannette
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